How to Make People Like You

Read time: 3 minutes

I recently reread one of my favorite books of all time, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.

It’s one of the best books on human relations I’ve ever read.

The principles shared in it helped me to completely reshape how I interact with others back when I first read it in 2013. Since then I’ve reread it a few times.

At its core, this book will teach you how to be less selfish.

And in doing so, winning people over in relationships.

Let’s apply this to interviews.

I’m 32 now and have had dozens of different jobs since I was 15.

I’ve done everything from mall kiosks, food service, retail, teaching gymnastics classes, after-school programs, ministry, security, landscaping, ride-sharing, moving/hauling, furniture assembly, and pool cleaning.

In my post-college adulthood, I’ve changed careers 3 times.

Teaching → B2B Sales → Operations → Data

I’ve done countless interviews in my decades of working.

All of this experience has consistently led to the feedback that I’m a great interviewer.

I firmly believe interviewing itself is a skill.

It’s an exercise in “keeping your cool,” but there are a few key principles from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” that I always try to maintain when I interview.

These principles will help you connect with those in the hiring seat and could put you over the edge compared to other candidates.

More specifically, these are inspired by Part 2 of the book.

1 | Show a Genuine Interest in Others

It’s easy to be very introverted during an interview. You’re being judged the whole time so in your head, you immediately make it all about you.

But try to genuinely get to know the person you’re talking to.

Make some small talk, point out something in the room or that they’re wearing, and maybe even take a glance at their LinkedIn beforehand to find some talking points.

This helps to break the ice and make an instant connection.

2 | Smile

Smiling often requires a constant effort.

When you begin to think about how often you do or don’t smile, you’ll probably find that you don’t do it very often.

And probably especially not in an interview setting.

Make an effort to throw on a smile. This will help you to be more approachable and have a warmer presence. It’s a small thing, but it will stand out to people, even if it’s subconsciously.

3 | Remember Names and Say Them Often

No sound is sweeter to another human being than the sound of their own name. Seriously.

But forget someone’s name, and you’ve just insulted them, even if they’re polite about it.

As soon as you get someone’s name, hold it in your memory and try to say it often during the conversation. They’ll appreciate it, but it’ll also help you remember it.

This is a detail that communicates respect to the other person and they’ll appreciate you for it.

4 | Be a Good Listener

During a conversation, it’s easy to just think about what you’re going to say next while the other person is talking.

When we do this, we’re not truly listening.

When another person is talking, invest yourself in what they’re saying, and just like in the 1st principle, show a genuine interest.

5 | Talk in Terms of the Other Person’s Interests

People like to talk about things they like.

If you center the conversation around other people’s interests and continue revisiting them, people will enjoy talking to you.

You can become a great conversationalist without really saying anything at all.

6 | Make Others Feel Important - and do so Sincerely

Everyone wants to feel important.

It’s human nature, and it’s ok.

And when people don’t feel important, they can act in strange or unpleasant ways.

Sometimes, out of our own insecurity, we can minimize the things that make others feel important.

But when you highlight, compliment, and praise the things that others hold dear, things that make them feel important, they’ll love you for it.

It’s a way of communicating, “What you did and what you do matters.”

______

These may be unconventional interview tips, but I guarantee they’ll help you.

Beyond interviews, I guarantee they’ll help you in life if you embrace them.

They can all be summarized by simply saying, “Let go of your ego and put others before yourself.”

Now, go make some friends.

This week’s YouTube video:

In this video, I go over my 3-step process for making an A-grade write-up for your data portfolio project.

That’s it for this week.

See you next time

Matt ✌️ 

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